It is not the experience after all.

employment in a job is really fascinating.you get to work, earn bucks, gain experience and most of all,my favorite, meet a lot of new people..especially girls. here in my work, i am blessed to have a handful of gorgeous women around me. during my first day orientation, the first girl that struck me the most cupid arrows is Angel. Oh my, in my life, i have never seen a name with a literal interpretation of the person itself. she's chinky eyed, average height, and a blowing gorgeous smile. unfortunately, she stays on the 2nd floor of the building. well, i'm working at 5th floor. she is the executive secretary of the company. oh man, i have never seen her in the hallways yet. everyday, i am still hoping.
another woman here which gives me the motivation to work everyday is ritzy. she's a new employee like me. i just started earlier than her. when she was first introduced to us, she was wearing a black corporate dress which defines her slim body. she has small eyes too and a short but sweet smile. she wears braces. i have never gotten a good conversation with her..it is because she's always with her friend during breaks. argh...but i am also hoping to know her better. i just dont know if she has a boyfriend which makes her to be "closed" to other people, i hope not.
another woman is ruby. she's an architect. i just love looking at her because she looks bubbly, happy person. she's cute too. one day, while i was getting a coffee in a vending machine,she was right behind me. as i looked back, our eyes met..i grinned...surprisingly, she smiled too..haha. i just dont know if she's married..well, if ever she is, the guy is lucky.
the last woman is pinky, an architect too.actually, i am looking at her right now. there is something on the way she looks at me that made me like her.she's chubby too..man! i have diggs for chubby women, i just don't know why. she's beautiful too..i just dont know too if she's married..i hope she's not.haha
well, appreciating the presence of such women really gives me the daily energy i need. i am always looking forward to a new day. i respect women a lot. that's what matters.

A tuesday miracle.

I received my first deadline. I have to pass my files on august 6. i am a bit scared and nervous but amazingly, i am not stressed..maybe because, i enjoy what i'm doing.i am expecting revisions, but i hoping that my estimates are for the good. i know from myself that i have never overlooked a detail, i hope i am right.oh well, at least, i have learned a lot from this. i wish that more will come.

The trains.

its my 3rd week in work. i arrived at 7:55am. i thought i will be late, but thanks a ot to God, i was even early. I was at the train station at around 6:50 in the morning. i was expecting that there will be few passengers since its still early. but i was wrong. the station was crowded, people don't stop coming in. i was a bit frustrated since it was already full of people, and the trains were also too. the only way to get a ride is to make your way to the thick crowd and push yourself in! actually i am a bit of a silent type of person. i like things to go smoothly. i don't like conflicts, rushing and chaotic situations. my basic solution for this problem was waiting for the people to get in first and hoping a spacious train to pass by. unfortunately, my expectations did not came. the station did not ran out of people.
so to get to work on time, i actually pushed myself in the crowd everytime a train arrives. it was like 9 trains that had passed by  before i had my own ride. it was a stressful situation.
after getting my ride, during the trip, i was like wondering if i did not pushed myself. maybe i was still standing there in the station, waiting...
in life, opportunities come, it is up to us to grab them. opportunities are there for us to be stronger. so expect the difficulties. we also do not succeed in every opportunity that will come. but what is important is the effort we gave, the growth we have shown in ourselves, the perseverance. opportunities like the trains that i have let to pass will never come back, like the ones in real life. so, if ever we get a chance on something we wished for, we must grab the opportunity or else, time will just pass us by. we maybe then waiting forever.

Turn back the time.

its 2:12 in the afternoon. i'm on my work.i have finished the tasks given to me. its friday,wow weekend!you come really fast. before writing  this, i have thought of all the computers around in our office. there were too many units.just like time, computers evolved fast too. from windows 95, as i can remember, to apple macbooks,etc. technology is really improving. but, will it really gives us relief and benefits?
when i was a child, after school, we played hide and seek, follow the leader,etc. it was so much fun. for me, it is the ideal and best childhood a child could have.  today, those games were now unknown to this generation's kids. why? because of technology. instead of playing hide and seek, they come home early, playing video games. its really sad that kids became like this for a short period of time. i  could not imagine what kids would play in the future years.
the effects are also an issue here. aside from deteriorating their eyes, their bodies lack exercise which makes them prone to sickness. their other parts of the bodies and brains are not developing, thus, making them more dull. although some games are so-called "educational", practical and actual teaching will never be replaced. a computer can never be an effective teacher because it only gives knowledge, it does not work/teach you to absorb the knowledge, that is why we can say it that its useless.
i hope technologies did not develop quite fast. people depends on the technologies greatly, excluding me. i am not a computer fanatic. i do use the internet,just for enjoyment, like social networks,etc. oh well, i've got work to do.

Things you just have to accept.

why is it hard to live, but an instant you can die?why is hard to earn money, while spending it is so easy?why is it you have to cook for hours for a dish, but in less than 10 mins its already in your tummy?why is it hard to pass,whereas it needs no effort to fail?why is it being good is so hard, but being bad is easy?why is it it takes months or years to build a building, but it only takes days or weeks to bring it down?why is it time flies when your with your girlfriend/boyfriend, but during your despised subject time stops? why is it easy to do a break one's heart, but difficult to ask for forgiveness? why is it you have to work hard to achieve a nice body, whereas you have to do nothing to have a clumsy one?why is it months of practice for a dance is needed, but the actual performance is for only 5 mins? why is it you will realize the value of someone or something when it is already gone?why is it others were born rich,while others poor? why is it its easy to judge people, but when it comes to ourselves, we are having a hard time?why is it we need to be hurt to learn? why is it we need to make mistakes to know the right judgment?why is it its easy to love someone, but loving you back is not a guarantee? 
Life is really a mystery. These are some of the things that we need to accept. there is nothing we can do about it. Maybe from these statements, we can see how life can be adventurous. How life can make you feel different feelings. Well, imagine if your always happy,all of us. At some point, we will reach boredom and nothing. No excitement. All of us will be the same. No uniqueness. So i guess, these natures of life are alright. They give us reasons to live. They give us freedom.

Smile at me.

It is 7:15 in the evening. Rain is keep on pouring. I ride a jeepney going to my apartment. Traffic is jampacked. My body is wasted from work. My eyes are closing, but I can't, I'm still on my way home. I might not be able to see my stop. The jeep is half full. I'm on the left side, beside me is a pretty girl. Well, that's also another reason why i dont want to sleep. I like to look at her from time to time, i just feel good looking at her. After few blocks before my stop, 6 kids ride the jeepney. they were all soaked in the rain. One girl was still wiping her face off before climbing the vehicle. They were noisy, very noisy. They talked about the rain, their subjects, families. With my condition, exhausted, i got quickly irritated on them. I just controlled it not to give a sign. Few minutes before icome down, two of the kids were teasing each other. Everybody laughs at them, even the pretty girl beside me. At that moment, it was like, why is it hard for me to be happy even for a single moment? why do i look people in a way that it is not good in my feelings? looking at the pretty girl beside me, our eyes met for a split second. wow, it was like, happiness is just a matter of perspective. everything around you is happiness, it only depends on you if you treat it as one. After that vehicle ride, while walking towards my home, i was smiling. I am smiling because i gave myself a chance to be happy for a moment. Those kids were really hilarious. I laughed too before i gone down. it was really nice to feel that at an instant, feelings can changed. Some people wants to be happy, as they say. As for me, happiness wants to be in some people.

When leaving is relieving.

After months with my family, i had to go because i was accepted in a job i was applying for. My emotions are mixed. Happy because of the job, and sad because of my upcoming departure.
Seeing your family everytime you wake up is really a blessing for any individual. You have that feeling of you are not alone in this world. There are always people who will support and love you for all your undertakings.
The night i revealed the good news of my employment, i looked at my mom, she has a grin on her face, but i felt it that it was only a facade in her sad feelings. I knew inside she wants me to stay. But life's is not about like that. In order for a person to grow, you have to let them go. Even though it is painfully to admit, i do not want to go at first. I will miss them for sure. But i started to think that, will i remain like this in my entire life? i know i have to learn to live on my own. To be responsible for my own life. My parents gave me everything i needed, shelter, education, etc. And now, it is up to me if i want to pay them back for what they have done.
There's no price to pay for their hard work in raising me as their son, so all i can ever give them in return is to be like them one day. Equipped with life needed skills. Matured, ready for trials of life.
I don't want to be a kid anymore, playing, fleeing problems, etc. I want to be confident like them. I want to be able to ride with the life's journey. I know it is hard, but it is not impossible.